The Diary of an Asian Kid

[Lucas Greyson]

So this is something I worked on in grade 8. Because of I was a huge fan of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney, I decided to base this on his book so kudos to him (buy his books!). Well, I was starting high school and I was what everybody called "the stereotypical Asian kid" and they always asked what my life was like and whether I got whipped and stuff so I decided to write this book. So basically, what happens in this book 90% true, actually, it's 100% true but 10% was over exaggerated. What I have to say is though, everything that happened in the book was during what I call "my dad's Asian phases". Normally, he's an pain in the rear end but during his "Asian phases" he's not just a pain in the rear end, he's what you want to call him after you read this. So here are the first few chapters (unfortunately, I am not able to include the pictures, the first thing my friend said when he saw my dad in real life was "your dad looks exactly like your pictures" so the book isn't going to be half as awesome than it should be), I might also want to add that due to people's requests, some names have been changed for the sake of their privacy. Enjoy! (I didn't change anything, not even the grammar)

March
Tuesday
I guess it's pretty awkward writing or, starting a journal (not a diary) in the middle of the year. Today is the 31st of March 2009. I dunno why I decided to start a journal in the first place. I guess it's because everyone asks me how I was brought up and all that. Well, now I'll just shove this book in their faces and tell them to read. Another reason is that, being a kid of stereotypical Asian parents, a lot of things happen to me so I'm not just gonna lets those things pass and forget about them.
[picture dialogue]
Me: why an A?
Dad: cuz I say so!!

Well, today got off with a rocky start, I managed to piss off my parents by skipping breakfast.
[picture dialogue]
Mom: eat breakfast
Me: no!

Well, that didn't go really well.

The reason why I skipped breakfast was because I was pissed. I'm always late for school cuz my sister never wakes up on time and she never receives any punishment for making em late. Well I can tell you this, when I was a kid, there was none of this "waking up late thing", Mom and Dad always had surprises if I was ever late. Dad would just me up with anything on his hands and Mom would just wait till i woke up and then beat me up. Either way, it wasn't pretty.
[picture description]
My Mom waiting for me to wake up with a frying pan in her hand

In case you're wondering what my mom is holding in her hand, it's a frying pan. I'm not kidding, well dad was different.
[picture description and dialogue]
Dad beating me up with a bamboo sword (shinai)
Dad: wake up!
Me: I'll never do it again

This is what happens when my sister sleeps in.
[picture description]
my sister sleeping

By the way, I'm not exaggerating, my sister really snores, and she's only 7, although she's turning 8 this year. And in case you're wondering, I don't snore.

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[Guest]

Darren, you may not know it but i respect you, i really do, but this... this IS SOOO GAY. You should delete this ASAP nobody likes it and its so stupid. Sorry to be such a downer but yea... I hope you dont take this personally.